BLOG POST
This blog post was researched and written by our interns Emily May and Anna Gumenyuk, who are contributing to our ongoing work to understand and prevent childhood sexual violence.
International Friendship Day, celebrated worldwide on July 30th, is a time to recognize and cherish the bonds we form with our friends.[1] These relationships often provide emotional support, joy, and source of belonging. For children, friendships are not only a source of fun and companionship but also a support system if they are afraid to share a particular stressful situation with their parents or caregivers.
Friends as Recipients of Child Sexual Abuse Disclosures
One significant yet often overlooked aspect of childhood friendships is their role in the disclosure of sexual abuse. According to Our Voice Survivor Survey [2], one in five respondents reported that they had not disclosed the sexual violence they experienced as a child. Among those who disclosed, over half did so more than 11 years after the abuse occurred, and only 12% disclosed immediately following the sexual violence. Disclosures were typically made to parents (54%) and friends (25%), with a mere 6% reporting to the police. While telling a trusted adult (such as a parent) is always the best option for a child in distress, friends can provide valuable support to do so.
Barriers to Disclosure: Why Children Often Stay Silent
Understanding the reasons for children’s lack of disclosure is necessary for both prevention and intervention. According to Elizabeth Jeglic, a sexual violence prevention expert, there is a variety of complex reasons that prevent children from reporting sexual abuse.[3] Fear is a major factor: children worry about not being believed, facing punishment, or experiencing retaliation from the abuser, especially if they were manipulated or threatened to maintain silence. Feelings of shame and guilt also play a significant role, as children may internalise the abuse and mistakenly feel responsible for it. Trust issues can further complicate disclosure when the abuser is a trusted adult or a family member, since the child might still care for the abuser and even be concerned that disclosing will get the perpetrator in trouble. Finally, children may simply not have the language or understanding to articulate what has happened to them, particularly if they are very young, have a disability, or if the abuse is ongoing and normalised. These insights highlight the need for age-appropriate guides on disclosure and support spaces where children can feel safe to share their experiences.
Breaking the Silence with #MyFriendToo
At Protect Children, we understand the critical importance of breaking the silence surrounding child sexual abuse and recognize potential complications that children and youth may face on their disclosure journey. Our #MyFriendToo website is designed to empower young people to help their friends report sexual abuse. This website provides young people with guidance on how to support their friends who have become victims of sexual violence, emphasizing the importance of disclosure and encouraging them to seek help from trusted adults.
Together, let’s foster strong, supportive friendships and create a safer environment for children to speak out and receive the help they need.
Are you a young person? Visit our #MyFriendToo webpage to learn what to do if you or your friends become victims of sexual violence.
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References:
[1] United Nations. (NA). International Day of Friendship.
[2] Ovaska, A., et al. (2023). Protect Children. Statutes of Limitations and Sexual Violence Against Children.
[3] Jeglic, E.L. (2022). Why Children Don’t Tell Anyone About Sexual Abuse.